Having your children share a room may be a necessity for space reasons, or a family choice. Browsing Instagram last week I came upon this touching and heartwarming post from @myfamilyyourhome that really resonated with me.
Thank you for allowing me to share your words @myfamilyyourhome, I appreciate it!
Yes all 3 of my boys share a room! . Yes it works!!! . In a society that is moving away from doing life together, we are becoming more and more isolated, we are friends on social media but wouldn’t say “hello” face to face if we walked past each other in the street. . A generation of children that speak to each other through a game on the computer screen but then have anxiety going to school. . We build big houses with lots of rooms so everyone can have their own ‘space’. . Please understand me when I say having your own room is not wrong! However when we raise kids who don’t know how to communicate because they can lock themselves away and struggle to share what’s going on in their heads and hearts or kids who don’t know how to compromise, show compassion, kindness and love towards each other... then we have a problem. . My boys HAVE to share. They HAVE to compromise. They HAVE to work together and help each other. And some days it’s hard... but other days when the lights are out and you hear them chatting away, giggling and praying for and with each other... u know a very basic decision to ‘share’ a room (which is becoming rare these days) was one of the best decisions we made when building this home. . This room is still a work in progress. I would love some chunky mustard throw rugs for the end of each bed... and we still have a built in desk to make... but step by step it makes it functional and inviting!
Isn't that sweet and just so true! Make sure your check out her Instagram feed, it is darling and they clearly have a house full of love with those little munchkins!
I have four kids as well (three boys and a girl) and the three oldest all had their own rooms when they were younger. When we moved into the house we live in now, our youngest was not born yet, so there was plenty of space, so we figured why not? In hindsight, I wish we had put our older boys together at the time. When our fourth child was born he and the next oldest boy up had to share a room. It was honestly not always fun as there is a big age gap so there were definite bedtime and space issues. Lots of compromising. However, the bond that they have made in five years is unbreakable and I do not think it would have been that way if they were not together in the same space. Recently we switched it up, giving our now five year-old his own "big boy" room and having our oldest take his shared space with his brother when he is back from college.
The older son was a little relieved to get his space back. It is quieter, he has less responsibility and he relates to his older brother much more when he is home. I sit and listen to the two of them have borderline adult conversations and play online games with each other from across the room while laughing and yelling. It makes me so happy and as I said earlier, had I done it differently when they were little it may have forged a different bond between them. I do know he misses his little brother though :)
Our five year-old misses him. Misses the comfort of having someone in the room with him. We have had many midnight visits since the move and extra comfort is definitely required at bedtime. He does not love falling asleep by himself. But he does love having somewhere to play and keep his things that is all his. So I guess I am glad he is getting to experience both.
In my opinion, sharing a space teaches children many life skills earlier, and can be very beneficial. I have watched first hand as our then 11 year-old, now 16 year-old has learned how to build a bond, have tolerance and respect for others space and belongings, and has empathy where he didn't before. He is the first besides my husband and myself to try to help and soothe the youngest when he is upset, we can trust him to handle bedtime and babysit him just as if we were watching him, and I know for a fact, they will be close forever, no matter the age difference.
And do not forget that decorating a shared space can be so much fun! I have added some inspiration below in case you are now inspired to put all of your kids in the same room :)